Afghanistan is a traditional country deeply influenced by patriarchal cultural structures. Historically, Afghan families have treated their daughters and sons differently and unequally. However, since the Taliban regained power, this gender gap within families has deepened and become more systematic. Fear of social consequences, external pressures, and the Taliban’s imposed restrictions have led many families—especially in recent years—to place even more limitations on their daughters, while sons continue to enjoy relative freedom in education, mobility, social participation, and family decision-making.
Women’s rights activists believe that the root of this unequal treatment lies in the historically patriarchal culture of Afghan society, which has now found an opportunity to manifest openly in an atmosphere filled with fear and despair. Meanwhile, psychologists warn that these everyday discriminations can have profound long-term psychological effects on girls, including lowered self-esteem, depression, and the development of a silent, isolated generation that distrusts both themselves and society.
Negar (a pseudonym), a 22-year-old living in Kabul, tells Afghanistan Future that since childhood, she has faced clear discrimination between herself and her brothers within the family—a discrimination that was not only painful but also shaped the course of her life. She adds: “From the beginning, my brother had freedom and I had restrictions. He could go out, spend time with his friends, and even have a say in family decisions, but I always had to be quiet, calm, and obedient because I was a girl.”
Negar completed 12th grade but, like millions of other girls, was prevented from continuing her education after the Taliban’s return. Yet, she says her restrictions as a girl in her Afghan family had started long before. She recalls: “Since childhood, I was interested in medicine. But when I shared this with my mother, she said a girl belongs to others and it’s better to learn housework. She said finishing school was already enough for me.” She emphasizes that at home, girls are always treated as if they are the weaker sex compared to boys, and their opinions are not considered in important decisions.
Negar points out that her family doesn’t believe a girl can think independently or make decisions for herself, which has gradually distanced her from her dreams and made her feel that her desires are unimportant.
Similarly, Kamala (a pseudonym), a 24-year-old from Ghazni province, says that after the Taliban came to power, not only have her social freedoms decreased, but her family’s behavior towards her has changed significantly, and discrimination between her and her brothers has become more obvious.
Before the Taliban’s return, although family restrictions existed, she had some space to express her opinions, attend university, and participate socially. She says: “After the Taliban, restrictions have increased so much that sometimes I feel more like a prisoner than a daughter of this house. No one asks what I want or how I feel; I just have to obey and stay within the limits set for me.”
Kamala believes this change in her family’s behavior isn’t only due to fear of the Taliban but is rooted in long-standing beliefs and mindsets embedded in many people’s minds, which now have found an outlet under the strict Taliban regime. She says: “If the fear is about going outside, then why don’t they support me inside the house? Why don’t they seek alternative ways for education? When I say I want to study online, they say it’s pointless or laugh. They say a girl should adapt to circumstances, meaning if education isn’t possible, I must learn to stay silent, not look for ways to continue.”
Kamala adds that this discrimination has not only taken away her opportunities but also caused her to doubt herself and her role in the family.
Meanwhile, some women’s rights activists say that the origin of discriminatory family behaviors is not only fear of the Taliban but also rooted in patriarchal beliefs and ingrained traditions that have now surfaced more intensely under official restrictions. According to them, many families have become the very agents of their daughters’ restrictions instead of supporting them, justifying their actions with reasons like “honor” or “security,” completing the exclusion of women from society from within the home.
These activists warn that continuing this trend will further institutionalize discrimination within the family structure and have long-term psychological and social consequences for girls.
Fereshta Mohammadi, a women’s rights activist, tells Afghanistan Future that the intensification of discriminatory behavior by families towards girls after the Taliban’s return is not just due to general fear of the group’s restrictions, but stems from deeply rooted social beliefs that had long remained hidden beneath layers of false assumptions and have now surfaced openly within families.
She adds: “Before the Taliban, although discrimination existed, the environment was more open, and girls could somewhat defend their rights through law, media, and education. Now that these institutions have collapsed, families easily keep girls confined and silent without any external oversight or pressure.” Ms. Mohammadi emphasizes that in many Afghan families, the difference in treatment with boys is not just about education or work opportunities; rather, in the entire family structure, the girl is considered a “burden” and the boy the “owner of the future.”
According to Fereshta Mohammadi, this mindset is dangerous because it passes discrimination as something “natural and inevitable” to the new generation: “If today a girl feels worthless at home and a boy grows up believing he is superior, tomorrow’s Afghanistan will face not only humiliated women but also more discriminatory men.”
At the same time, some psychologists warn that discrimination between daughters and sons within families, especially under current conditions, seriously threatens girls’ mental health. According to them, such treatment leads to feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, depression, and frustration in girls.
Shams Rasouli, a psychologist, tells Afghanistan Future that discriminatory behaviors by families not only deprive girls of growth opportunities but also undermine the foundations of their mental health. He emphasizes: “When a girl feels less valued than her brother, or her freedoms and dreams are not taken seriously, she develops feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy. If this feeling repeats, it gradually leads to depression, anxiety, and even isolation.”
Mr. Rasouli adds that many families, especially in backward societies, often believe that silencing and restricting girls is a way to protect their safety, but in reality, such an approach suppresses individual identity and gradually destroys girls’ self-confidence. He warns that if this trend continues, society will face a generation of silent, anxious, and disillusioned women.
Meanwhile, alongside family discrimination, girls in remote areas of Afghanistan face even harsher structural violence. Child marriages, giving daughters away to settle family or tribal disputes, deprivation from education and healthcare, and physical abuse at home are among the challenges normalized in many girls’ lives. In some areas, even celebrating the birth of a girl is considered shameful, and mothers have repeatedly suffered physical and psychological abuse for giving birth to daughters. In such a context, being a girl itself becomes a burden that one must silently and defenselessly bear from childhood. These conditions not only violate the human dignity of girls but also reproduce violence, inequality, and the gradual breakdown of emotional family foundations. A girl who is rejected or traded by her family rarely grows up to be a psychologically healthy mother, citizen, or human being. This culture of oppression is passed down through generations and, in the absence of protective institutions, leaves no room for r
